Manuscript In, Manuscript Out

Today I heard back from literary agent Rosemary Stimola, who spoke at Iowa's SCBWI conference in April. She'd asked to see my middle grade fantasy novel. She responded quickly. I sent her the full manuscript at the beginning of June. But ultimately she declined. She said, in part,

"... the bar in this genre has been raised exceptionally high, and while there are many fine writing qualities evidenced here (I am particularly intrigued by the Norse mythology at the root of your tale), in the end, the story does not 'hang' together sufficiently for me to suspend disbelief. Further, the plot line, centering on the classic quest for a lost parent, seems rather one-note, lacking in depth and dimension needed to make this book one an editor couldn't refuse."

Since sending Rosemary this manuscript, I finally read Suzanne Collins's Gregor the Overlander, a middle grade fantasy that Rosemary sold. Considering that rescuing Gregor's missing father is a major component of the plot, I find her second reason for declining a little hard to swallow. I wonder if my story line is just too similar to her existing client's in that regard.

So now I have to figure out where else to send this manuscript.

Meanwhile this morning I sent a revised first chapter of my in progress YA mystery to Liesa Abrams, editor with Razorbill, who'd critiqued it during the Iowa SCBWI conference. She'd asked to see a revision. I wasn't sure about the protocol since this novel is far from finished, so I was very up front with her in my cover letter.

Reviewing Books for Kids

When Kellye Carter Crocker, the Des Moines Register's new reviewer of YA books, walked in to the Kirkendall Public Library in Ankeny last Saturday dragging an enormous suitcase on wheels, I thought, "this woman is weird--I like that!"

She parked her suitcase and said to the small group of SCBWI members assembled, "I'm going to give you a fashion show later." Then she laughed her infectious laugh. More on the mysterious suitcase later.

Kellye has been writing the Register's bimonthly column on YA books since January. For once in her life she had an "in" for this gig since she's a former Register reporter (11 years). Nevertheless, she emphasized that "you do not have to know somebody to break in" to freelancing. She held herself up as proof of that, and with six years of successful freelance work with many national magazines, I believed her.

About her column

Initially Kellye's editor asked her to cover 12 books per column, but Kellye soon discovered that that's not much space per book with a word limit of 1000 words. So they cut the number back to a minimum of six books per column, but she usually squeezes in a couple extra. Since space is so valuable, she doesn't include books she dislikes. Nor will she say a book is good if it isn't. She will, however, hint at things she finds detract from a book even though overall she likes it.

Kellye's focus is naturally on new books. She reads two to four per week. She tends to gravitate toward contemporary, gritty teen novels and said she has to guard against her own biases in books. For example, she confessed that she doesn't care for fantasy or science fiction. She doesn't include middle grade novels unless she thinks teens would read them.

Kellye gives special consideration to Iowa authors. For Iowa writers of picture books or middle grade fiction and non-fiction, there's another Register book reviewer who handles books with an Iowa connection.

If you'd like her to review your book, she said to send her an email. Since I don't want to broadcast her email address, I suggest you contact her editor at the Register, Doug Peterson, about how to get in touch with her.

Back to the suitcase

Publishers have discovered Kellye's column. They send her free books. Lots and lots of books. That's what was in the suitcase. She opened it up and said, "Take what you want." She either had duplicates, had already read them, or didn't plan to read them (like a book on how to prepare for the SAT).

Like the book-hungry crowd we were, we descended on her beautiful pile and quickly reduced it to a manageable stack, which she donated to the Ankeny library.

Reading Frenzy

For the last week or so, since wrapping up a revision of my MG fantasy novel and shipping it to an agent, I've been reading like crazy. For all of April and May, I was feeling reading deprived because I was working so much on my own writing.

In April, when I was finishing the first 50 pages of my YA mystery, I read one crummy MG fantasy whose title I've forgotten and listened to another fantasy on tape, Switchers by Kate Thompson. That was a good one. It was about a girl who could change into animals of all kinds.

For my birthday I received Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clark. It's an adult fantasy set primarily in England during the Napoleonic era. It's about two magicians in a world that hasn't seen practical magicians--just theoretical ones--for a couple of hundred years. This novel is nearly 800 pages. I started reading in early May, after finishing my book group book, an oldie but goodie by Barbara Kingsolver called Animal Dreams, and finished right before Memorial Day.

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell was a leisurely read, something that I could easily dip in and out of. One of the best parts was the sly narrator who reminded me of Jane Austen's narrators. The fantasy felt perfectly at home in the historical setting.

I dashed through a Frederick Forsyth thriller, Avenger, while on vacation and then jumped back into books for kids, including the following:

• Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko (book club), Newbery Honor 2004, G.P. Putnam’s Sons, edited by Kathy Dawson
  Great details and an authentic voice made this novel set in the 1930s on Alcatraz a fun read.
  
• Chasing Vermeer by Blue Balliett, 2004, Scholastic, edited by Tracy Mack, agent Amanda Lewis
  This story read more like a puzzle than a novel with fully rounded characters to me.
  
• Gregor the Overlander (Book One in the Underland Chronicles) by Suzanne Collins, 2003, Scholastic, edited by Kate Egan, agent Rosemary Stimola
  Gigantic creep crawlies and an excellent two-year-old sister to the main character kept me reading.
  
• Undercover Girl #!: Secrets by Christine Harris (an uncorrected proof), 2005, Scholastic
  Very short spy novel with a familiar premise. Supposedly orphaned child raised by an organization to be a spy. I couldn't figure out how old the main character was and that bugged me.
  
• Faerie Wars by Herbie Brennan, 2003, Bloomsbury
  I love discovering new-to-me complex fantasies that take some familiar tropes and give them a sharp twist. I felt in good hands with this author and will dive into the sequel, The Purple Emperor, shortly.
  

Novel Class: Final Feedback

Last week I received an email from my novel class instructor with his feedback on the first 50 pages of my in-progress YA mystery. Here's what he had to say:

What strikes me most about your first 50 pages is the breezy, realistic nature of the dialogue. Your characters sound natural (realistic), and the dialogue moves the story along very effectively. The tensions that are building--money problems, a potential romance with Jake and/or Steve, animosity between Christy and Nic [my 15-yr-old female main character]--are subtly managed.

The only thing missing for me is a central conflict--something bigger than Nic's adjustment to a new place and a new kind of life, which she seems to be managing pretty well. Is something going to happen to Edith? I recall that you said you wanted this novel to be a mystery, but there's no indication of anything mysterious so far. If the hog lot controversy is going to figure significantly in the rest of your novel, you should probably foreshadow it more distinctly. If Edith is going to be killed, then perhaps she should already be dead when Nic arrives in Iowa.

I think that's a reasonable assessment. I'm doing the opposite in this novel than I did in my first children's novel. I've got a pretty good internal conflict going but not enough external conflict.

For one thing, I'm not certain yet where this story should start. Right now I'm having fun getting to know my characters better and may have to throw out much of what I've already written. That's okay. Revision is fun.

Submitted to Agent at Last

For the last two months, ever since the Iowa SCBWI conference, I've been working steadily on what I hope is the last major revision of my middle grade fantasy novel. It took several weeks longer than I'd anticipated to finish. This was partly because I always underestimate how long it will take to accomplish any task from painting the bathroom to redesigning a web page.

But also because I was using as a guide to my revision the comments of my online critique group. The members of that group are all novelists (like me, as yet unpublished in that form) and give very pointed and specific, line by line feedback. It's a lot to consider when you're feeling pressed for time.

Two weeks after the Iowa SCBWI conference, I met my critique group during a long weekend retreat. They critiqued the revised first three chapters of my MG fantasy. While I appreciated their work, I was not crazy about wading through their suggestions again because I was afraid it would slow me down even more. Plus I couldn't bear the thought of them suggesting some major change that I'd feel compelled to make.

I also didn't want to read the whole manuscript and look for errors and inconsistencies before sending it. It needed to be done of course, so I drafted my husband, who's a freelance writer. For once, he was a help. He read my novel over a couple of days and made notes about the little things that I wouldn't have seen but would have jumped out at a fresh reader. He said it wasn't Harry Potter but it wasn't bad. That's high praise from him. He also liked the ending much better. He told me that at least three times.

That short breather from revision gave me the courage I needed to read my critique group's comments on my first three chapters. One member in particular had done some judicious line editing that I agreed with. I made those changes and a few others that I thought made the manuscript stronger. I finished yesterday.

Today I printed the manuscript, stuck it in an envelope, and mailed it to an agent who'd requested it (see my earlier post on maintaining focus).

Aahhhh.